Meet the new boss...Same as the old boss

Abbie believes by virtue of being 18 months older than Nathan, she is in a position to disciple her little brother.  90% of the time this belief results in her being motherly towards him as she is showing Nathan the ropes of life.  It's the other 10% of the time that she abuses this belief.  For instance, she believes that joint and several liability is applicable to her and Nathan if she gets in trouble.  

This belief results in exchanges such as:

Abbie (In answering a parent) : I'm NOT in trouble.  Nathan's in BIG trouble.

Nathan (Innocent of the accusation, but within earshot of the conversation): Hmmm??

Abbie (Reiterating her position): I'm NOT in trouble.  Nathan's in BIG trouble. 

Nathan (Walking over and upset): I'M NOT IN TROUBLE!

Abbie (Laughing): Yes you are Nathan!  You're in BIG trouble!

Nathan (Realizing the injustice): I'M NOT!

Abbie: Yes you are!

Nathan (Full blown tears): WAAAHHHHHHH!!
 

U.S. Patent 3,216,423

US Patent 3,216,423 is for an apparatus which utilizes centrifugal force to facilitate the birth of a child at less stress to the mother.

It's in the public domain, so feel free to build this deathtrap birthing-device in your basement.  

The best line in the specification is in column 6, line 49-53:

...the preferred condition where the number of g's employed in accomplishing the birth of the child is relatively high (say above 8 g's), the machine may be constructed as is indicated in FIG. 4.

8 g's?  I think childbirth the old fashion way is the better choice here.  

What Is This All About?

By way of introduction, this blog's purpose is to act as a counterpoint to the misconception that Asians raise their children via a "Chinese Mother" and/or "Tiger Mother" methodology.

Moreover, if there is indeed a surefire methodology to mold a child to meet parental expectations and succeed in this game we call Life, I'd like to see the data linking causation to said methodology.  To suggest there is a foolproof methodology for child achievement is more of a reflection on the parent's attempt to quell their own anxiety over their child's future. 

By way of full disclosure and as a disclaimer, I have no formal training in child development or psychology; my only parental credentials are limited to being a father to two wonderful kids.

Cast of Characters

Albert: a.k.a. Chinese Dragon Dad

Lora: The wife of ashkenazi ancestral descent

Abbie: The four-year old daughter

Nathan: The two three-year old son

Driving Home from Chicago

This is from the Spring of 2010, when Nathan was ~1&1/2 years old.

So after visiting my parents in Chicago, my wife and I are driving back home.  Seeing how Abbie and Nathan are behaving, we decide to stop by Potbelly's for a chocolate shake and lemonade.  On the road the kids are happy in the backseat and we're making good time on our way back home.  Good times, right? 

Lora obtains the treats and a salad for herself and re-enters the car. She distributes the shake to Nathan, the lemonade to Abbie and proceeds to eat her salad in the passenger car while I continue to traverse home.

From the backseat, Nathan sees that Lora is holding a fork for her salad.  He thinks it's a spoon. 

Nathan: Poon, mommy?  Poon?
Lora: No, it's a fork.
Nathan (continuously chowing down on his shake but visibly confused): Fook??
Lora: No, you can't have it.  You'll hurt yourself.
Nathan: Want fook.
Lora: No.
Nathan (viably angry): Want FOOK! 
Lora: No.
Nathan (DefCon 1 stage): WANT FOOK!!! FOOK! FOOK!  WANT FOOK, MOMMY!!  FOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!

(I'm cracking up laughing, followed by Abbie seeing me laugh, imitates the laughing too). 

Nathan spends the next 5 minutes screaming, crying, and dropping the F-bomb.  Then he sees extra straws in the front seat.

Nathan (calmed down): Straw, mommy.  Want straw.

Moral of the story: Kids have an a priori knowledge of curse words