Bob the Builder - Yes We Can!

Nathan imitates Bob the Builder.  Time to get him a tool belt.

Barefoot Running benefits of a Midfoot/Frontfoot Strike

By way of background, this Father's Day, Abbie thoughtfully decided that I needed a new pair of sandals and had Mommy procure a pair.  Umm, thanks Abbie, but I've got my eye on some different footwear.  Yes, yes, it's the thought that counts but have fun in the return line. 

Nathan ends his sentences with the phase: "ANYMORE!" as a point of emphasis

Nathan started ending his sentences with "ANYMORE!" as a point of emphasis a few months back.

For example, if he gets in a verbal dispute with his sister, the argument will devolve into him spouting his displeasure with a declaration such as: I don't like you Abbie, ANYMORE!

Toliet Training Gone Awry

Nathan Potty Training Update

He knows what he has to do, but in true Nathan fashion, he refuses to do so.  We've been making candy an incentive, but that's not good enough anymore.

Somehow I don't think this would further entice him:

http://blog.pricecharting.com/2011/05/how-to-build-video-game-urinal.html

Abbie's First Soccer Game

Zero goals, which makes sense inasmuch as Abbie made 0 attempt to run to the scrub of 4-year olds.

Bad negotiations by a four-year old, doesn't understand the concept of pre-existing parental duty

Soccer practice is scheduled for 5:30PM tonight.

I called to see if practice is cancelled.

Me: Looks like it's not going to rain*, so there's soccer practice tonight, right?

Wife: Well maybe, Abbie is being difficult and I've been trying to convince her all day to go.  She says doesn't want to go to soccer practice.

Me: Alright, put her on the phone.

(long pause, with Lora saying in the background, "talk in the phone, don't be rude")

Abbie: Daddy?

Me: Are you going to soccer today?

Abbie: No...

Me: How about I meet you there (at the soccer field) after work?

Abbie: (begrudgingly) Okkkay....

Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather watch the NBA playoffs at home tonight instead of hanging around a soccer field on a cloudy and windy 40 degree evening. 


*It was in fact raining during practice.

Nathan Tells a Knock-Knock joke

Too bad he doesn't do it in a Borat voice

Bottling time after 24 days of Fermentation

Today is beer bottling day.  I enlisted Abbie's help.  She was happy to oblige when she learned part of her duties included dispensing a teaspoon of sugar into each ~16 oz Groulsh bottles.  Well, that and she got to use a funnel.

Kylie, this is you.

Well, not exactly, minus the white spot on her chest.

6-Pack De Jour and Misc. Animated Gifs

If I were in New Hampshire, this would be my local brew of choice.

Conversely, I wouldn't recommend this as local brew choice while in Florida:

Nathan's Revenge Fantasy

In the continuing saga of Nathan's quest to join the civilized world, he's getting the hang of how potty training works.  By getting the hang of things, he understand what needs to be done and has done the deed in the past, but he generally doesn't have the patience to sit and wait.



Well today it's business as usual as he's sitting on the potty.  Waiting for it, waiting for it...

Brewing a Maibock German Style Lager with Abbie

In time for spring, I decided to take the Mr. Beer kit out of hibernation to brew a Maibock German Style Lager that is described by Mr. Beer as complex, bready, and having a slightly honey-like malt sweetness.  This is probably the first time I've brewed since moving to Peoria.  I mention this as the Lake Michigan water via the DuPage Water Commission used in my earlier endeavors didn't cause any problems.  Let's see what the water tables of Peoria gives us.  (That said, the water in Peoria has a much higher magnesium and calcium content compared against Lake Michigan water.  However those ions are mitigated by the water softer.)  

Nathan Get His First Mitt

So my first mitt was for right-handed throwers.  For those that don't know, I throw left-handed.  This led to some confusion as a kid as I always wanted to put a ball in my mitt and in the same motion throw my mitt.

At the Hilton Oceanfront Resort

Video of a telephone conversation between Abbie and Nathan.

It's packed with hilarious moments, the main joking being that they're 3 feet from each other, but here are two highlights:

Abbie: Kids are causing crazies!

Nathan: I'M ON MY TRIP, ABBIE!! (Spoken into a phone at Spinal Tap volume 11)

At Dayton Beach

End of Day 1

Chica con collar de "Hello Kitty" y la camisa en una toalla de "Hello Kitty"

At Cocoa Beach, FL

Asking a 4 year old to pack results in packing like a 13 year old

I asked Abbie to pack her own luggage for our upcoming trip. Subsequently she fills one whole bag of luggage with her items.

Also, she gets meta by taking a picture of me taking a picture of her.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury...

Undisputed facts:

1. Nathan got into a fight and bloodied up scratched a kid in the face in two areas in pre-preschool today. 
2. Nathan got in big trouble and was put in timeout by the teacher.
3. Spent the next hour kissing up to the teacher.

Issue: Whether Nathan has the mental mindset to know that he got in trouble?  To use the legal vernacular, the issue is whether he exhibits the mens rea to know that his actions were improper.

Let's go to the direct examination.

Nathan tries his hand in joining the civilized world by being potty trained

Look at me. I can pee-pee poo-poo whenever I want. I don't care as someone else always cleans it up for me.  Never fails.

Ominous Narrator: Atlas, little does 2-1/2 year old Nathan know, his days of defecating and urinating with impunity are numbered.

Robin the Boy Wonder

Boy Wonder's adventures in potty training coming to a blog near you.

Snow-mageddon 2011 Day Two

  

 

Preparation for Snow-mageddon 2011

No work and no school due to the impending 2011 Snow-mageddon.  The prospect of two consecutive snow days prompted me to stock up at the grocery store.

Namely:

Meet the new boss...Same as the old boss

Abbie believes by virtue of being 18 months older than Nathan, she is in a position to disciple her little brother.  90% of the time this belief results in her being motherly towards him as she is showing Nathan the ropes of life.  It's the other 10% of the time that she abuses this belief.  For instance, she believes that joint and several liability is applicable to her and Nathan if she gets in trouble.  

This belief results in exchanges such as:

Abbie (In answering a parent) : I'm NOT in trouble.  Nathan's in BIG trouble.

Nathan (Innocent of the accusation, but within earshot of the conversation): Hmmm??

Abbie (Reiterating her position): I'm NOT in trouble.  Nathan's in BIG trouble. 

Nathan (Walking over and upset): I'M NOT IN TROUBLE!

Abbie (Laughing): Yes you are Nathan!  You're in BIG trouble!

Nathan (Realizing the injustice): I'M NOT!

Abbie: Yes you are!

Nathan (Full blown tears): WAAAHHHHHHH!!
 

U.S. Patent 3,216,423

US Patent 3,216,423 is for an apparatus which utilizes centrifugal force to facilitate the birth of a child at less stress to the mother.

It's in the public domain, so feel free to build this deathtrap birthing-device in your basement.  

The best line in the specification is in column 6, line 49-53:

...the preferred condition where the number of g's employed in accomplishing the birth of the child is relatively high (say above 8 g's), the machine may be constructed as is indicated in FIG. 4.

8 g's?  I think childbirth the old fashion way is the better choice here.  

What Is This All About?

By way of introduction, this blog's purpose is to act as a counterpoint to the misconception that Asians raise their children via a "Chinese Mother" and/or "Tiger Mother" methodology.

Moreover, if there is indeed a surefire methodology to mold a child to meet parental expectations and succeed in this game we call Life, I'd like to see the data linking causation to said methodology.  To suggest there is a foolproof methodology for child achievement is more of a reflection on the parent's attempt to quell their own anxiety over their child's future. 

By way of full disclosure and as a disclaimer, I have no formal training in child development or psychology; my only parental credentials are limited to being a father to two wonderful kids.

Cast of Characters

Albert: a.k.a. Chinese Dragon Dad

Lora: The wife of ashkenazi ancestral descent

Abbie: The four-year old daughter

Nathan: The two three-year old son

Driving Home from Chicago

This is from the Spring of 2010, when Nathan was ~1&1/2 years old.

So after visiting my parents in Chicago, my wife and I are driving back home.  Seeing how Abbie and Nathan are behaving, we decide to stop by Potbelly's for a chocolate shake and lemonade.  On the road the kids are happy in the backseat and we're making good time on our way back home.  Good times, right? 

Lora obtains the treats and a salad for herself and re-enters the car. She distributes the shake to Nathan, the lemonade to Abbie and proceeds to eat her salad in the passenger car while I continue to traverse home.

From the backseat, Nathan sees that Lora is holding a fork for her salad.  He thinks it's a spoon. 

Nathan: Poon, mommy?  Poon?
Lora: No, it's a fork.
Nathan (continuously chowing down on his shake but visibly confused): Fook??
Lora: No, you can't have it.  You'll hurt yourself.
Nathan: Want fook.
Lora: No.
Nathan (viably angry): Want FOOK! 
Lora: No.
Nathan (DefCon 1 stage): WANT FOOK!!! FOOK! FOOK!  WANT FOOK, MOMMY!!  FOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!

(I'm cracking up laughing, followed by Abbie seeing me laugh, imitates the laughing too). 

Nathan spends the next 5 minutes screaming, crying, and dropping the F-bomb.  Then he sees extra straws in the front seat.

Nathan (calmed down): Straw, mommy.  Want straw.

Moral of the story: Kids have an a priori knowledge of curse words